


Adventures in Babysitting

by cerealkiller0



Series: Unholy Union [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Food bribes, Immortal Angst, Lucifer tries to make it better, M/M, The persuasive power of pizza, Trixie figures it all out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:29:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerealkiller0/pseuds/cerealkiller0
Summary: Dan and Chloe are called out of town unexpectedly. Lucifer can handle watching Trixie for a week, right? Marcus has his doubts.





	1. Chapter 1

Lucifer waltzed into the station with his usual enthusiasm, holding a tray of coffees and grinning at the officers he past on the way in. He’d had a good night at Lux the previous evening, playing piano and singing with a couple of old friends from his early days in LA. His husband - and he still did somewhat of a mental backflip when he thought of Pierce as such - had been asleep in the penthouse long before Lucifer’s set had ended and was gone in the morning hours before Lucifer intended to wake. Like ships passing in the night. It had become something of an unfortunate routine in recent weeks. 

Lucifer’s big goal for the morning was to find a few moments to pull Pierce away from his desk and off for a quick shag at the very least. If not, he was mentally calculating whether or not he could squeeze himself underneath Pierce’s desk for a little oral action. 

These thoughts were derailed when he noticed Chloe sitting alone, ending a phone call and staring down at her desk with a heartbroken look on her face.

Lucifer approached cautiously, setting the coffee tray on the edge of her desk and touching her shoulder gently. He’d never seen the detective look quite this upset before. “Chloe…” he began tentatively. “Are you alright?”

She startled at his touch and raised a hand to her face wiping at the corner of her eye. “Lucifer! I’m fine. I just got some bad news. I’m okay.” She busied herself shuffling around a few folders on her desk.

Lucifer was becoming quite familiar with this particular avoidance tactic. Chloe and Pierce both did it to him when he asked a question at work they didn’t want to answer. “You aren’t. You are clearly upset about something.”

“I just received some bad news. A friend of mine just died suddenly.” Chloe explained. Her eyes began watering again at the words, but she blinked them back furiously. “He was in my wedding, he and Dan- Oh no, I need to tell Dan.”

Chloe stood, pushing passed Lucifer and glancing around the room for him. Lucifer craned his own head, eyes searching out the man. Neither spotted him. 

“He’s going to want to be at the funeral. And Mitchell’s wife is going to need help with her kids. But who is going to watch Trix if we both go? Maze is off who knows where… We can’t pull her out of school for the week.” Chloe muttered to herself. “I guess I could call my mom. That is assuming I can take the time off work…It will probably be a whole week..”

Lucifer watched in growing concern as she continued to talk to herself, only really digesting bits and pieces of her rambling. “Detective. Detective!” He called out, trying to cut off her rising distress. “Might I be of some assistance?”

“What?” Chloe looked up at him, seeming startled at his continued presence next to her, despite the fact that he hadn’t moved.

“Your presence is required out of town, as is Detective Douche’s. You need someone to care for your spawn in your absence and to request time off work. I believe I can be of assistance.” Lucifer stated, giving her a look.

Chloe stared at him blankly. 

Lucifer sighed and gestured towards Pierce’s office door with a smirk. “He might owe me a favor or two. I typically cash those in for sex, but just this once I could use one on your behalf.”

Chloe gave a halfhearted grin at the joke, knowing Lucifer was mostly teasing her to distract her from her sadness and spiraling thoughts. “And Trixie? Do you know any babysitters?” She asked skeptically. 

Lucifer grimaced slightly, he couldn’t believe the offer he was about to make. It was worrying, this power Chloe seemed to have over him. “I will be responsible for Beatrice while you are gone.”

At this magnanimous offer, the last thing he expected was Chloe to laugh hysterically in his face. “You? Watch Trixie? For days, while Dan and I are out of town? Really?”

Lucifer bristled. He was the Lord of Hell. Of course he was capable of watching one small human child for a few days. “Why not?”

“What, are you going to keep her at Lux? Let her bartend in the evenings while you drink and play piano?” Chloe asked incredulously. 

Lucifer sighed. “I can go more than a few days without an appearance at Lux. And if you are concerned about having her there, I could always supervise her at your home instead.”

The disbelieving expression on Chloe’s face morphed into something softer as she took in the sincerity in Lucifer’s expression. “You’d really do that for me?” She questioned, touched. “Why?”

Lucifer reached out a hand and touched her shoulder. “You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you, Chloe.”

Tears welled in her eyes for the second time that day. Lucifer squeezed her shoulder, then gave her a push. “Go find Detective Douche. I will work things out for you with Pierce.”

He watched her walk away, already mentally planning to make her travel arrangements as well as soon as he found out the particulars. Her paltry detective salary would hardly cover accommodations worthy of her. 

He then picked up the cooling coffee tray and headed for Pierce’s office with far less enthusiasm than he had earlier. He had a feeling that Marcus was going to be deeply unimpressed with Lucifer all but guaranteeing that Chloe and Dan would be able to take personal days without even checking in with him first. 

He was right, if the glower on Pierce’s face as he sipped his cold coffee was anything to go by.

“So let me get this straight, you told not one, but two of my detectives that they could take off work for a week and that you’d babysit? For a week?” Pierce questioned, aggravation clear in his tone. He rifled around his desk, searching for the department calendar buried somewhere. “What could have possibly possessed you to do that?”

“She was crying,” Lucifer said simply. 

Pierce grabbed the calendar from below a few disorganized case files. He scanned the schedule and grimaced in distaste. It was doable, but only if he felt like picking up about three extra shifts himself. He looked back up at Lucifer’s earnest expression and sighed. “I guess I can make it work.”

“Excellent,” Lucifer replied, smiling at him. He then flashed him a wicked grin. “I will make it up to you, darling.”

“It’s going to be difficult to do that if we are spending the week at Decker’s place with a kid underfoot.” Pierce grumbled.

Lucifer’s eyebrows rose at that. “You are going to help me?”

Pierce snorted, a trace derisively. “Well I figured I probably should. If you are babysitting Trixie, who is going to babysit you?”


	2. Chapter 2

Lucifer watched in bemusement as Chloe flitted around the room, checking and rechecking the bags she had packed and waving a list of phone numbers underneath his nose.

Lucifer grabbed the list and sat it down behind him, then grabbed Chloe’s shoulders to still her. “Detective. Chloe. We will be fine. You are going to Seattle, not Siberia. If anything goes wrong -which it won’t- we will call. Now go take care of your friend. Pay your respects. Beatrice will be fine here with us.”

“Okay. Okay. Monkey?” She called out. 

Trixie bounded over to her after giving Dan one last hug goodbye from where he stood in the doorway, waiting for Chloe. “It’s going to be okay Mommy. I’ll miss you, but I’ll be okay. Marcus said he’d help me watch Lucifer for you,” she said cheekily, smirking in Lucifer’s direction. “And he promised me a ride on his motorcycle!”

Chloe frowned slightly at that, unsure how she felt about Trixie on a motorcycle. She turned questioning eyes on her boss, she’d almost forgotten his presence. When she’d last seen him, he’d seemed rather perturbed at Lucifer over the whole situation.

He stood from where he was seated on her couch, holding a child sized helmet, a conciliatory expression on his face. “Just to school today. I’ll keep on the side streets, no stunts. I’m borrowing a car from work for the rest of the week.”

Chloe stared at Pierce, surprised by his thoughtfulness. She’d assumed he was mostly going along with this at Lucifer’s behest. She hadn’t thought he was actually intending to help based on his sullen attitude when he’d grudgingly given her and Dan the time off. “I guess that would be alright…” 

Trixie squealed in delight, throwing her arms around her mom then darting off. “I’m gonna go get my backpack. Bye Mom and Dad!”

Chloe watched her go, feeling a little bereft at the quick dismissal. 

“Get out of here Decker.” Pierce said, approaching them, his hand automatically going to the small of Lucifer’s back. “We’ve got this covered.”

The words were brusque, but the look on Pierce’s face was sincere. Next to him, Lucifer nodded as well. 

“Alright. Thanks you two. We will see you in a few days.” Chloe said, finally heading for the door.

“Yeah, thanks guys,” Dan chimed in from the doorway, grabbing one of Chloe’s bags. 

“Anytime Detective Douche!” Lucifer couldn’t help calling out gleefully in return. 

Pierce smirked, adding in “Any more than a week, Espinoza, and I’m giving your desk to Officer Barnes.”

“Why my desk, why not Chloe’s?” Dan questioned indignantly.

“What and lose my best detective?” Pierce asked, mock incredulously.

Chloe couldn’t help chuckling as she followed a grumbling Dan out to his car.

****

It only took a couple of days to fall into somewhat of a routine. Trixie was a little disappointed that Marcus held true to his word, and after the first day of dropping her off on his motorcycle, he switched to a boring sedan. 

She forgave him pretty quickly though, when he made a point of stopping off each day for donuts in the morning and letting her eat one in the back seat on the way to school. 

After school, Lucifer would pick her up and she would draw at the counter while he made dinner. She liked to keep an eye on his preparations after the gross thing he made the first night. Something with cold soup and a fish that still had a head on. Blech. 

As soon as it was placed in front of her, she knew she’d have to resort to drastic measures. She waited until Lucifer turned his back around and then flailed out, knocking over her glass of milk. 

“Oops!” She shouted loudly, and hopefully convincingly. “I didn’t mean to spill!”

She jumped up from the dripping table. “I’ll go get a towel!”

Lucifer was seated adjacent to her and stood with a shout as well, a wet patch visible on his suit pants. He glared down at the spot. “No, I’ll get it, since it seems I’m in need of a new pair of trousers as well.” 

Marcus bit his lip to keep from laughing at the indignant look on Lucifer’s face. “There is a dishcloth on the sink Trix, you grab that. Lucifer, go change and I’ll get her a new glass.”

Trixie wasted no time heading for the kitchen, swiping her plate full of gross fish when she was sure no one was looking and dumping it quickly into the trash before grabbing a rag to mop up her milk. 

By the time Lucifer was back in dry clothing, she was back at the table with a fresh glass of milk and a mostly empty plate.

Lucifer sat back down with a huff and dug into the food in front of him while Trixie made a gagging face. 

A small cough drew her attention and she looked up at Marcus’ bright blue eyes, still dancing with amusement. He pointedly looked down at her empty plate and then back up at her. 

She cringed and glanced at Lucifer, waiting for him to blab, and was shocked when he just winked at her, then turned his attention to his own meal.

He knocked on her bedroom door later and wordlessly passed her a big bowl of ice cream which she dug into ravenously.

“Next time, maybe try telling Lucifer what you want before he starts cooking.” Marcus advised her once she was done.

She sheepishly promised to do that.

Unlike her parents, who usually insisted on her eating something healthy for dinner, Lucifer seemed willing to make her whatever she desired, once she made her preferences known. After a night of dessert and junk food for dinner she started feeling guilty though, so she mostly stuck to the choices she knew her mom wouldn’t mind, instead of asking for chocolate cake every night like she was tempted to. Lucifer almost seemed disappointed by this.

Marcus had dinner with them the first two nights, but was absent the next two, working late.

She liked those nights, because Lucifer almost always forgot about things like bedtimes and homework. Marcus was far more likely to stick to her mom’s schedule.

Lucifer would usually leave either right before or right after she got ready for bed to go to check in at Lux. No matter how many times she asked to go along, the answer from both men was always a resounding no.

The first night, she’d had trouble falling asleep and Marcus had sat with her, telling her a story about an ancient queen and a soldier who fell in love with her. She’d been surprised by how good the story was, since Marcus usually wasn’t a big talker. She’d mentioned it the next day at dinner, but immediately regretted it when Lucifer started to tease him about it. 

She didn’t really follow their conversation though.

“Cleopatra and Antonius? Really darling? Whatever would possess you to tell _that_ story?” Lucifer questioned. 

Marcus turned a little red. “I don’t know. She asked to hear a story about a queen. She was just the first one that came to mind. After her, I tended to avoid royalty, so I didn’t really have terribly many options to choose from.”

“She asked for a bedtime story, not a history lesson!” Lucifer returned. “Wait… Did you just say you knew her?”

Marcus shrugged. “Think about it Lucifer. My name has been Marcus for a very long time.”

Trixie frowned at that. Of course his name had been Marcus for a long time. He was _old_. Like 40. Easily. Marcus and Lucifer were making even less sense than usual. 

“Marcus Antonius,” Lucifer breathed out. He looked shocked when Marcus inclined his head. 

Trixie glanced between the two men with a frown settling on her face. It was kind of a weird middle name, but no stranger than some of the kids in her class. One got saddled with the name ‘Thaddeus.’

“Does this mean you aren’t going to tell me the end of the story? About what happens to the queen?” She questioned hesitantly.

Marcus heaved a long sigh, breaking Lucifer’s stare, and looked down at the table. “She thought her lover had died, so she killed herself. She wanted to be with him, more than she wanted to rule. And when she got to the great beyond, her soldier wasn’t there waiting for her.”

“That’s a terrible ending to the story, Marcus.” Trixie said flatly, missing Lucifer’s wince at her words.

“Yeah,” Marcus said, withdrawn. He dropped his fork down next to his mostly full plate and pushed back from the table. “I’m going to go take a walk.”

Marcus didn’t return before Trixie’s bedtime that night. Lucifer sang to her that night in lieu of a story, something that sounded kind of sad and lonely and in a language she didn’t recognize.

She slept fitfully, worried Marcus wouldn’t come back and that it was her fault. When she woke up in the middle of the night and tiptoed out of her room for a glass of water, she found him and Lucifer both on the couch. Marcus was stretched out and sleeping, his head pillowed on Lucifer’s thigh. Lucifer was singing his song very softly and carding his fingers gently through Marcus’ hair. 

Trixie retreated slowly back into her room, not wanting Lucifer to catch her spying. The next morning, neither man mentioned the incident and other than a few extra yawns and darker shadows underneath their eyes, neither one seemed to be acting any differently than usual.

The next time Trixie asked for a story though, she made sure to pull the funniest book she could find off her shelf to press into Marcus’ hands. He had a nice laugh, even if he didn’t use it much.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucifer stood lounging against his convertible outside Trixie’s school, looking horribly out of place in the line of mostly suburban moms gossiping in front of their SUVs and holding iced coffees. He pointedly ignored the flirtatious looks several of them sent his way, absently tapping his ring finger against his car, the platinum band he was wearing making a distinct sound against the metal frame.

He wondered how Pierce fared with this crowd in the mornings, not sure if he was amused or annoyed at the thought of those looks being tossed in his husband’s direction. He toyed with the idea of asking about it, but Marcus had seemed touchier than usual in conversations since Lucifer had put his foot in his mouth days ago. He wasn’t overly thrilled with the idea of rocking the boat just yet.

He was intrigued by Pierce’s revelation about his past. It had never occurred to him that some of the aliases his husband had used over the years might be famous ones. He wanted to know more, but was unsure how to ask without picking at old wounds and inflaming hurts best left forgotten at the door of memory. It wasn’t as if he was especially inclined to reminisce about the good old days in Hell after all. 

Needless to say, it was a conversation best left for another day. One where they didn’t have an overly curious child situated between them at times they normally shared in only each other’s company. 

All in all, the week hadn’t been a great disaster. Other than the revelation that the little urchin would rather eat fish sticks than gourmet cuisine. Regardless, he would be glad for the Detective and the Douche to return home so that he could return to his own abode and resume spending his evenings having mind blowing sex instead of playing board games and reviewing mind numbing homework assignments. 

Parenting seemed dreadfully dull. He wondered how the Detective had survived this long doing it. He only needed to get through the weekend and he’d be done with it for good. 

He smiled at that thought, mind going to what he planned to do with Pierce as soon as he had him back at the penthouse and naked. He was soon lost in his daydreaming to the point where he barely noticed Trixie’s somewhat subdued approach. 

“Hey Lucifer,” Trixie murmured, eyes downcast as she passed him to reach the passenger door. 

“Hello Spawn,” Lucifer returned, missing her obvious mood, that is until he turned to look at her. “Hang on, there. What’s the matter, child?”

“I wish my mom was here,” Trixie returned, dejectedly. 

Lucifer frowned. She’d seemed happy enough last night and Pierce hadn’t mentioned anything being off this morning. “She’ll be back in two days. I know you miss her, but -”

“No! It isn’t that,” Trixie responded quickly, her distressed face giving way to one of irritation. “Eloise Madigan is having a birthday pool party tomorrow. I forgot about it until she brought it up today and I really want to go and I can’t because mom’s not here.”

“Is that all? Beatrice, I can take you to a birthday party. I can even take you somewhere before hand to pick out a gift for the little urchin if need be.” Lucifer replied, glad Trixie’s issue was easily fixed. He nudged her toward the car, eager to leave this place. 

“That isn’t all. Eloise’s mom is really strict. She says everyone swimming at the party needs to have a parent there to supervise.” Trixie explained. “She said it’s because her grandpa does insurance. Lucifer, do you know what ‘liability’ means?”

Lucifer groaned. Suddenly this weekend was looking a lot more daunting. “It means her mother is likely going to be too soused on box wine to make sure you and your friends don’t drown in her pool.” Lucifer muttered darkly. “Very well Beatrice. I will accompany you to this party.”

“Yay!” Trixie exclaimed throwing her arms around Lucifer’s waist. 

Lucifer gave her a feeble smile in return, pulling her arms away from himself. “Can we get into the car now?” He all but begged. 

“One more thing.” Trixie stated. “Mrs. Madigan wanted to meet you. She’s over there with the other moms.”

Lucifer’s eyes followed the finger Trixie was pointing with a sinking feeling taking up residence in his gut. He knew when he looked up, his eyes would be on the same group of women that had been ogling him all week in the pick up line. He’d just been had. Sure enough, the women were watching his conversation in earnest, and when he looked back up at them a few were waving flirtatiously. 

“Lucifer? Is something wrong?” Trixie asked worriedly. “Please don’t change your mind, I have to go to the party!”

“I haven’t changed my mind, Beatrice.” Lucifer replied to her gently, annoyed as he was at the ploy this woman had apparently concocted to arrange an introduction. He hoped only the hoops they were jumping through currently were part of the plan and not Beatrice’s party invitation as well. If they used Beatrice to get to him, there would be a price to pay. “Let’s go meet your friend’s mother. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can leave.”

Lucifer allowed Trixie to grip his hand and drag him over to the crowd of women and be presented to the mother in question.

He held out his hand and offered a charming smile. “Hello, my name is Lucifer Morningstar. Mrs. Madigan, I presume?”

“It’s Ms. actually,” she replied, taking his hand delicately and offering a coy smile. “I’m afraid Eloise’s father just isn’t in the picture anymore. But please, call me Kate.”

“Very well, Kate,” Lucifer replied, pulling his hand away. “Young Beatrice has informed me that she received an invitation for a party at your home. She would be delighted to attend. I understand supervision was a condition for attendance?”

“Well you just can’t be too careful with the girls,” Kate simpers. “Chloe was planning on joining us, but we heard she’s been out of town all week for a funeral, the poor dear.”

“Quite,” Lucifer replied, tempted to roll his eyes at the dramatics. 

“We assumed Chloe’s mother or Dan would be staying with Trixie. We were all so surprised to see her with you instead.” Another mother chimed in. 

Lucifer arched a brow at that. The busybody was fishing for information, but until a question was asked of him, he wasn’t inclined to divulge any information.

Unfortunately, Trixie was standing right next to him and didn’t seem to share his reserve. “Daddy went with Mom to the funeral and Grandma’s busy with a project out of state. Lucifer and Marcus have been staying with me all week. They work with my Mom.”

“Well, isn’t that nice that your Mom has such generous coworkers.” Kate replied to Trixie. Her eyes moved to Lucifer again. “And isn’t it lucky for us that Lucifer will be able to join us for the party. Maybe take a dip with us, help with some sunscreen.”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed slightly at the innuendo, glancing in Trixie’s direction, hoping she remained oblivious. That hope was dashed when he took in the large frown forming on her face. 

“I don’t think Marcus would like that very much.” Trixie ground out, glaring furiously at her friend’s mother before turning accusing eyes on Lucifer as well. 

Lucifer’s mouth nearly fell open. Of course the little hellion picked up on the woman’s flirting, but had completely missed Lucifer’s lack of reciprocation.

“Of course he wouldn’t, darling.” Lucifer replied to Trixie. He smirked. Maybe this would be the easiest way to get these biddies to leave him be. “My husband can be a terribly jealous and possessive creature.”

“Well, then I guess you will have to bring him along then too, to ensure we all behave ourselves.” Kate returned with a victorious smirk. She turned and opened the door of her minivan, calling out over her shoulder. “We’ll see you all tomorrow!”

Lucifer stood there dumbfounded for several moments. The Lord of Hell had just been out maneuvered by a soccer mom. 

Trixie patted his arm consolingly. “Don’t worry. She does that to my mom all the time too. It’s why she had to bake 400 cupcakes for the Valentine’s fundraiser last year.”

Lucifer allowed her to pull him back towards the car. Once he’d recovered his senses enough to speak he pointed out the obvious. “You do realize Marcus is going to be rather annoyed by all of this, yes?”

“Think we can bribe him with pizza?” Trixie asked hopefully. 

Lucifer grinned at her, tossing her his phone as they climbed into the car. “It won’t hurt to try. You order, I’ll drive.”


End file.
